Wow... should I keep it?

Reading over my last post I debated... should I delete it? It's pretty negative. Do I really want that kind of "stuff" out there? Do I really want to expose that kind of weakness, and borderline despair?

Well... it's not like strangers are reading this... those who follow my blog and read it are also those who care about me, warts & all. Or at least I hope they do, and if they don't, what they think of me simply doesn't matter. So yeah, I'm gonna keep it there. It's real, it's me... and since I'll get through it and move forward, it might just help someone else remember that things can be really bad, but they can also get better.

And can you truly appreciate the really great "ups" unless you acknowledge the really shitty "downs"?

What do you do...

when it all seems to be too much?

Work, income, finances, people, hurt, stress, lack of control, longing, anger, impatience, disappointment, holding it in... fear, loneliness, hopelessness... hanging by a thread...

no escape...

trying...

failing...

tired of coping... tired of doing it all... tired of being strong...

need to lean... nowhere to lean... no one to count on... no one but me... don't want to be the one anymore...

had enough... but have no choice... it's all up to me... as always

need to get hope back

before it's too late

need to focus on the positive... tired of talking myself into it...

how much can I take?

my stores are low... I want so badly to give up, but I can't give up...

please don't lean on me today, we might both fall down